I often call myself a target-oriented person, especially during job interviews when I’m asked to introduce myself. I have my target, and I will do whatever it takes to reach it. As a planner, I start with target sales, then work out how many products to buy — the right amount, to the right place, at the right time, at the right price — to hit the target. During the process, I constantly check and adjust plans when circumstances change.
The same approach applies to running. I train with a target distance and a target time. On race day, I follow my own pace. Sometimes the result is better than the target, sometimes not. Either way, I genuinely enjoy the experience — from setting the goal to working toward it.
We often think the result is the main achievement. But in the process, we forget we’re also showing the world — and more importantly ourselves — who we are.
The Identity Gap in Goal-Setting
Interestingly, when I coach business owners, I noticed a deeper reason why goals sometimes fail. It’s rarely about lack of motivation or ability — often, the goals aren’t aligned with the identity of the person who set them.
For example, a makeup artist may decide to create her own brand and copy a successful competitor. It seems clever, but the uniqueness of her identity as a makeup artist is missing. The concept behind the brand is gone. It’s like a brand without a soul.
I would ask: What’s your original idea? Not because others succeeded, but because your brand should reflect what you believe about cosmetics and skincare. Some people value a simple routine, some glamour, and some a mixture of both. Your brand’s identity should come from you.
Identity Shapes Action
Quite often, I’m asked, “What would you do in this situation?” And I realised something important: What I would do depends on my personality, habits, values, and the identity I carry.
If that identity isn’t relevant to someone else, my approach might not work for them — not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because they operate from a different sense of self.
That’s when I understood: You can’t act like someone you’re not, and you can’t achieve a goal that doesn’t belong to your current identity.
SMART Goals Are Not Enough
We all know SMART goals — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound. They’re useful, yes, but they assume you already know who you are when you set them. They assume you naturally behave in ways that support that goal.
But what if the identity isn’t aligned?
- What if the goal belongs to a version of you who you haven’t grown into yet?
- Or worse, what if it belongs to someone else entirely?
That’s when goals start to feel heavy. You procrastinate. You lose motivation. You feel guilty. Not because you lack discipline, but because the goal is misaligned.
Start With Identity
These days, before I set a new goal, I pause and ask: “Who I am? And who do I want to be?”
When I apply for a job, I check if the role takes me closer to that identity. Are the company, the people, and the role aligned with my values of who I am? And who do I want to be? While finance is a consideration, the identity I want to step into is just as important.
Identity in Business
Identity matters in business as much as in life. The makeup artist example shows this clearly. She told me, “Clean products are important to me,” because she once struggled with acne. She wants to make people beautiful while ensuring products are free from harmful chemicals. That’s her brand’s identity.
Instead of copying someone else’s success, she should shout out her uniqueness. Make it visible. Make it central to her brand positioning.
More importantly: Align her actions and goals with the identity she claims.
If her business identity is “clean products,” ask:
- What goals honour that identity?
- What actions make it real?
- What would a clean cosmetics brand do every day?
It could mean using ethical and safe suppliers, being transparent in the ingredients used and /or educating customers on how to choose the right products for their skin. The exact actions differ, but the principle is universal:
Identity should guide strategy, not the other way around.
When a brand’s identity is clear, decisions become clearer. When identity is vague, goals become scattered.
Reflecting on Your Own Goals
The same applies to individuals. When we know who we are — or who we want to become — goals fall into place naturally. They feel honest and achievable.
So, here’s something to reflect on, both for life and business:
- Who are you? And who do you want to be?
- Are your goals aligned with your identity?
- Or are they working against it?
Before you set your next goal — personal or professional — start with identity first. Everything else will fall into place more coherently.
